You bleed me dry.

What can I say? Last night I was miserable... and I had a terrible fkn day today. Yay! :-/

I woke up at 7am because I couldn't sleep for shiiit. And I was still feeling crappy from last night so I decided to go jogging haha but I only started working myself up (with anger, mostly) and ran until I puked :-/ I'm not sure whose lawn it was but I'm sure they'll love it. Got home, took a shower, and went back to bed. Missed some important phone calls, and started my day on the wrong foot. Yay! :-/ Recently.. nothing seems to be going my way.

I dunno it's just been a bad weekend. But LIFE GOES ON and I've gotta do the same.

Woke up around 11:30am and made some lunch. Returned the important phone calls, and had some shitty conversations. Felt devastated. Still do, really. It sucks loving somebody when you don't know if they don't love you back. But what can you do?? LOVE wouldn't be LOVE if it wasn't voluntary. Just another example of how we can't change things in the World no matter how hard we try. It's a lesson I'm having trouble learning. It seems like the harder I try... the worse it back fires. I guess I've got to just keep on keepin' on. I've got to keep going. Keep living. And hope that when I wake up, tmrw will bring something better. No fk that I've got to MAKE something better for myself. I've got no other choice. "You can't help someone get up a hill without getting closer to the top yourself." - H. Norman Schwarzkopf (1934 - )

I've got a job interview tmrw but I'll be honest I'm not even in the mood :-/ my spirit is DEAD right now. I just need to go lay down and get some rest. "Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for." - Dag Hammarskjold (1905 - 1961)