I still ain't forgave myself.

Everything is relative, isn't it? The same shit could happen to two different people, and I guarantee they'd take it differently. That's what makes us who we are. It's not really about WHAT's happened to us, but HOW we handle those things. While one person is complaining about something that's going on in their life, another person may embrace the exact same situation in a different way.

Or even the same person may react two different ways to the same situation, based on how their day is going on that particular day. Maybe you're having a great day, and things are just rolling off you. Nothing can touch you! But the next day, the same shit will make you furious. Discourage you. BUT it's the same situation. And, you're the same person. Think about it. What gives?! Is our mentality really that important??

I guess it depends. Do you see your glass as half full or half empty?

For me it changes haha I can be up and down like a roller coaster some days. Others, I'm just cruisin' along like a sail boat. That's why I'm really trying to challenge myself to stay positive thru WHATEVER comes my way. Life can pull some switch-ups and throw me a curve ball or two... but I'ma still swing. Because (like I said earlier) I've realized just how important our own mentality is.

"Never despair; but if you do, work on in despair." - Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

You've got to just be HAPPY. And, CONFIDENT in your happiness. 24/7, 365 days a year.. there's going to be somebody that tries to bring you down with them. They try their hardest to make you feel as crappy as they do haha! But we've all got baggage of our own to carry. You can't let people just throw their garbage at you.

Just smile at 'em, and tell 'em to fk off hahaha

At the same time... I'm actually TRYING to be a nicer guy. Just, in general. There's enough assholes out here in this World. Honestly its so much easier to be a dickhead haha and I'm pretty good at it sometimes too haha

But that's the point. I want to discipline myself. I need to. Like I've said before; you can pick the sport, but you can't change the rules. And you can't shake hands if your fist is clinched. I wanna learn how to love everything and everybody. Even those who hate back. If you consume your whole heart with love, you won't even FEEL the hate!

"You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth." - Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)

There will always be haters hah but you don't have to notice them. You can just smile, and walk right past 'em. You don't have to get so aggravated! You've just got to know that you're better than that!! You're better than hate. It's such a weak emotion. People give so much power to the word "hate" but to me HATE is one of the easiest things you can do. To HATE something just means that you haven't looked hard enough to find it's beauty. It's you, letting your emotions get the best of you.

Really; that's all love is too, tho. You can never be both, in love and logical at the same time. The love will ALWAYS win over reason haha that's what LOVE is. Giving somebody the power to hurt you the most......... and hoping they don't. It's you, letting your emotions get the best of you.

The only way it EVER works out, is if the other person loves you as much as you love them. That way, you look out FOR EACH OTHER. Because (to me) when you're really IN LOVE, you put that other person above yourself. And if they return the favor... then you'll both be protected.

If not, you're liable to have your heart ripped out.

But hell it's LIVE and LEARN right?? It's a great feeling, being in Love. It's also completely dangerous haha but ANYTHING WORTH HAVING is going to be a risk.

That reminds me of another great quote I read today.. "I believe in an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out." - Arthur Hays Sulzberger

Despite the shitty weather, I've had a good day today (if it wasn't obvious already) and I even picked up an extra shift at work. I can't wait for this paycheck haha I've had AT LEAST 2-3 extra hours each day this week!! Still no officially word on the second job yet, but I'ma call and bug them tmrw ;-)

TGIF, too. DAMN the weekend came up fast, didn't it?! Memorial Day just made this whole week FLY BY; and here we are, almost 2 weeks deep on my blog, now. It's been a crazy couple of days, too. But shiiiiit, when you boil it all down.. that's what life is, right? Just a crazy couple of days, all added up.

So far, sobriety has been nice to me. I've been good; but I won't lie, I still struggle with my vices BUT WHO DOESN'T HAVE VICES?? I go to work and watch the old times suck down cup after cup of sugary coffee. I see all these fat fucks shoving their faces with cola and candy and greasy food. Sex addicts. Gambling addicts. Kleptomaniacs. Me? In the past, I've enjoyed my share of marijuana and cigarettes and cold beer haha! Maybe even your share too hahah but its time to grow out of that phase in my life. It's been fun (trust me) but it's time to move on. "It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues." - Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) a great quote, which (to me) just means HOW you deal with your vices determines what kind of person you are. Sometimes, your weaknesses can make you stronger.